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Old 11-20-2006, 06:36 PM   #1
packie juppet
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Default The Urge To Bitch About: Artie

In an effort to combat my last thread of the "Obligatory Vacation Whining Thread" I've opted for a new approach; whining about specific character traits of the inner circle, I'll start with Artie.

A couple things I'm starting to notice about Artie that get under my skin are: his inability to describe anything vast or rich in nature. He tends to over use the word "Insane" or "Insanely". Example..."If you're lucky enough to get a production deal they throw "Insane" amounts of money at you".

Or

When describing a heroin high..."Howard, I've gone through days where I'm "Insanely" close to the edge, man".

The second character trait I've noticed in Artie, as others have, is his comfort in using the phrase, "The best_______ever". I don't really need to come up with any examples, I think you all understand. Well...ok..."That chick is the hottest chick ever". Or the "moozerell at Tony's is the Best moozerell ever".
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Old 11-20-2006, 07:50 PM   #2
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What bugs me about Artie is he makes me want to try Heroin.
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Old 11-20-2006, 08:47 PM   #3
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Heres what the rest of the staff thinks:

Quote:
Things That Annoys the Stern Show Staff About Artie
Bababooey: The thing I find most annoying about Artie, is that at the beginning he used to tell us there's nothing you can say about me that would upset me and we used to be able to joke and rag on him all the time but I'm starting to get the feeling now that he started to take it a little personal. It started out in Vegas. And I think he gets bummed out now when we goof on his drinking and we goof on all the other stuff. I don't think it's as funny to him as it use to be and I feel a little bad about it.

Howard: Okay, I hesitate to say anything about Artie cause he's so fragile with all the drinking and everything, you say anything bad and he'll go on a binge. But I guess my thing would be that he laughs at his own jokes a lot. Whenever he does that "Haaa Ha ha" you know that. That's my one little pet peeve with Artie but I love him.

Benjy: The only thing that stands out is everything is gay to Artie. If you watch Survivor, it's gay. If you drink diet soda, that's gay. If you read the National Enquirer you're gay. So everything is suspect of being gay to Artie.

Fred: What annoys me about Artie is he chews on his shirt sleeve. But it usually only happens towards the end of the show.

Robin: I love Artie and he seems like a really great guy on the air, somebody you'd love to hang out with. But whenever you invite him somewhere he sort of fades into the background and really doesn't do anything. You'd think he'd be the life of the party but you hardly know he's there.

Ronnie the Limo Driver: Artie makes like he's my friend all the time and then every time we're supposed to hang out, never shows up. Always throws me under, never shows up. That's Artie. I think he's a phony.
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Old 11-20-2006, 10:43 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bendog2784
Heres what the rest of the staff thinks:
That's a great list.
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Old 11-21-2006, 05:53 AM   #5
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I really am a non-violent kinda guy, but when artie sits there and complians that they have to work a friday, or that they are even talking about it and he says something like "The friday show is great" and he keeps going on about not working on a friday I want to punch him in his fat face.

The fucker is rich because of people like us, and he has the gall to be upset about working? FUCK YOU FAT ARTIE
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Old 11-21-2006, 06:48 AM   #6
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The only thing that drives me crazy is when talking about these outside jobs like Beer League and Fox, he doesn't come right out and say "I am not leaving." You are involved with something great and the chances are so small of making better money doing something else. Not to mention he would hate it whereever he went. Do me a favor Artie and realize you couldn't stand it day after day anywhere else and you get paid bank to do it. Let go of the dream that you are going to be the next George Clooney and know your role before you know Jackie's role.
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Old 11-21-2006, 07:51 AM   #7
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It really sucks when Artie has a few Jack and waters in him and is dropping one liners like LaDaimian Tomlinson acquires fantasy points......kidding of course.

Artie is easily the most likeable guy on the show but the only time he annoys me lately is when he tries to coax Angry Alice into arguing. It's become way to staged and forced.
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Old 11-21-2006, 08:36 AM   #8
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I get tired of Artie's constant self-denigration as a part of his comedy. For instance, when he did the Howard roast, 2/3s of his bit was about himself being a lowly longshoreman of humble means from New Jersey who worshipped Howard with his father. In fact, Artie is a very smart dude. I listened to that Fresh Air interview yesterday. He was supremely articulate and quick thinking. Some of his quips during the show are so original you wonder where he stores that stuff and how he retrieves it so quickly.
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Old 11-21-2006, 11:28 AM   #9
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Bitch about: The whole Dana situation.
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Old 11-21-2006, 12:10 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bendog2784
Heres what the rest of the staff thinks:
Bababooey: The thing I find most annoying about Artie, is that at the beginning he used to tell us there's nothing you can say about me that would upset me and we used to be able to joke and rag on him all the time but I'm starting to get the feeling now that he started to take it a little personal. It started out in Vegas. And I think he gets bummed out now when we goof on his drinking and we goof on all the other stuff. I don't think it's as funny to him as it use to be and I feel a little bad about it.
Speaking of Vegas and his drinking... Listening to the Viva Las Vegas stuff today where they had to drag Artie off in a wheel chair, and then his carrying on up in the room... It really lowered my opinion of him and any shred of respect I may have been clinging to. What an annoying, childish, obnoxious, slobbering piece of shit he is when he's drunk. I swear I felt like jumping through my radio and bashing his head open so he'd shut his fat trap. He really needs to grow the fuck up.

That's my bitch.
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Old 11-21-2006, 01:50 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LarryBS
Speaking of Vegas and his drinking... Listening to the Viva Las Vegas stuff today where they had to drag Artie off in a wheel chair, and then his carrying on up in the room... It really lowered my opinion of him and any shred of respect I may have been clinging to. What an annoying, childish, obnoxious, slobbering piece of shit he is when he's drunk. I swear I felt like jumping through my radio and bashing his head open so he'd shut his fat trap. He really needs to grow the fuck up.

That's my bitch.

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Old 11-21-2006, 06:49 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LarryBS
Speaking of Vegas and his drinking... Listening to the Viva Las Vegas stuff today where they had to drag Artie off in a wheel chair, and then his carrying on up in the room... It really lowered my opinion of him and any shred of respect I may have been clinging to. What an annoying, childish, obnoxious, slobbering piece of shit he is when he's drunk. I swear I felt like jumping through my radio and bashing his head open so he'd shut his fat trap. He really needs to grow the fuck up.

That's my bitch.
Then by all means, don't EVER watch the Howard TV video of Artie Drunk in Vegas. Some of the things he says are downright dispicable. The video is gauranteed to make your elbows twitch.
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:20 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by packie juppet
Then by all means, don't EVER watch the Howard TV video of Artie Drunk in Vegas. Some of the things he says are downright dispicable. The video is gauranteed to make your elbows twitch.
ugh, I felt bad for the guy listening to the replay of that today.
Talk about embarassing.

I'm surprised he didn't give up alcohol altogether after that ass showing episode.
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Old 11-23-2006, 02:00 AM   #14
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Since I had never heard Howard before he came to Sirius I guess I'm still a little naive about the whole show. All you guys who have been fans for 20+ years all bitch and complain about a lot of things I never even think of. I still think that Howard's is the greatest radio show ever and that neither he nor Robin nor Artie can do anything wrong. I guess after listening for a long time you pick up on the annoying things. I guess I've got a lot of listening to do before I'm as crotchety as you all.
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Old 11-23-2006, 10:10 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by almaniac27
I guess I've got a lot of listening to do before I'm as crotchety as you all.
LMAO! I don't think thats it, some people are just born to complain.
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